Hello,
As we are going through this process, I have had several people ask why we are choosing open adoption. It's really quite simple. We want our baby to know where he/she came from. We want them to know they were adopted and that we chose them. I want them to know who their biological mom is and what she is like. I want them to ask her questions if need be. When we are chosen by a birth mom, and if everything matches up as it should, then we will discuss with her (and the dad if he is involved) what level of openness we are all comfortable with. I will always be open and honest with our child as to why we adopted and everything that led up to this point. They will always know that we chose this path, that we chose them, and that we love them as if we had created them ourselves, because we know that Jesus created this child for us. We know that someone out there is a woman who is going to choose us to raise her baby and give us the most wonderful gift a person could ever give us. I really don't see the point in waiting until they are older to tell them they are not biologically ours. We will not refer to them as adopted. They will be our child in every sense of the word, except that one tiny detail...which isn't of importance to us.
Here are some facts on open adoption that I think a lot of people are unaware of:
"What is open adoption?
By definition, adoption is the legal act of permanently placing a child with someone other than the child's biological parents. "Open adoption” includes the birth parents and adoptive parents meeting one another, sharing full identifying information, and having direct access to ongoing contact over the years." (Silber & Dorner, Children of Open Adoption, Corona Publishing, San Antonio, TX, 1990).
There are many benefits to open adoption. The birth parents feel at peace knowing they have created the adoption. Ongoing contact through the years enables birth parents to get closure and confirmation that they made the best decision for their child. The adoptive parents feel chosen and entitled to parent their child. In addition, because they know the birth parents, they do not fear an unknown figure. The child benefits most of all because they know where they came from and where they belong. They also have access to information about their birth parents including cultural and medical history."
Mitch and I will be the parents, the birth mom will not be raising the child in anyway as some have wondered. If the birth mom chooses to be involved enough to see the child, then our baby will just be showered with more love, and that is perfectly fine with us.
All this week, The Today show will be discussing open adoption. I am excited to watch! Even if you never have plans on adopting, you may find it interesting to watch.
There is a live adoption ceremony on Friday. How awesome is that!??!
-Kerrie
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