The "choice" of adoption.

Hello,

As you may know, Mitch and I tried for several years to become pregnant; multiple doctors' visits, tests, and even a year getting "ready" for IVF. I won't go into great detail about all of this on this blog, as it can get very personal, but we decided not to go through with IVF treatments. I honestly felt, sometimes, I was going through this whole process just to please other people who expected me to have my own. Sometimes it was for me, but the thought of "why am I doing this when I want to adopt anyway?" was always running through my head.

What I want to focus on in this blog is the "choice" of adoption. Almost everywhere I turn I read "We couldn't conceive so we will just go ahead and adopt". "Adoption isn't what we wanted, but we are trying to make the best of it". These statements make me sad, as I do not see adoption as a 2nd option. Yes, we tried for a very long time to have our own. No, we weren't "successful" at it. I do not feel regretful, angry, or like this is a 2nd choice. I have always known I was going to adopt, and right now, I really wish I had started this process a lot earlier. My plan, and my husband's, who agreed it was a good plan and what he would like as well, wanted to have our own, and then adopt. That was what we had in mind. The plan didn't work out that way, and we are just fine. We wish adoption wasn't so complicated, and that we could already have our baby, but we are not angry that they won't be our biological child. We see it as moving the plan up. Maybe if we had already done all of this, instead of a year of fertility treatments, we would have saved ourselves a lot of heartache and already have our baby in our arms. Everything we went through just doesn't seem worth it to me when I know how much I will love my baby… biological or adopted. We know that someone out there is a birth mom that will lovingly choose us to raise her baby, that we will love our baby with all of our heart and soul, not regretting that she/he has other birth-parents, but instead be eternally grateful to them for trusting us and choosing us.

There's a lot more emotions and thoughts into this subject, but this blog isn't for all of that. If you are reading this and want someone to talk to about this, please feel free to contact me.

makeupartistkerrie@gmail.com

- Kerrie